"Because I knew you..."

To MLZ,

            When I first thought about going through rush… recruitment… I didn’t know if it was really for me.  But as I prayed more about the decision I really felt led to go through recruitment. I knew at the very least I would make a few friends. However, I had no idea the impact that you all would have on my life.

            I can look back on all of the times we have had together and I can’t help but smile. I can’t think of another pledge class who cared for each other, who liked to have more fun, or who loved spending time together more than we did. There was never a moment I felt left out or not accepted. It wasn’t until I met all of you that I felt so comfortable in who I was. I laugh more since having met all of you.

            I know this letter isn’t very long or super mushy (thank goodness) but I do want you all to know that I have learned something from each one of you. I have learned humility from Lesley, confidence from Holly, sarcasm from BMO, and how to live a passionate life from Aszia. Bullard and Kadee make me laugh harder than almost anyone. I loved living with the Annex girls and shooting things with nerf guns. I loved living with Pate and Noordyke (in the same semester!!) because they taught me not to take things so seriously. Bailey can make stupid things funnier than anybody else I know. And seriously, the list goes on and on. I look at who I am today and I know that you all had a big part in it.

 It was a difficult for me to make the decision to student teach abroad this last semester in college. I remember asking myself “Why would I leave these girls?” But I knew that ultimately you would all be behind me and support me in all of this. And I will be honest, there have been many times when I have looked at your pictures from Vegas and Luau and I get sad that I missed making these memories with all of you. And as cheesy as it is, I have been listening to “Never Alone” over and over and the line that keeps making me cry (seriously) is “and wherever you fly, this isn’t goodbye”.

I love you girls so much. I cannot imagine being in any other sorority or any other pledge class. You are all so beautiful and I am honored to know each and every one of you. We Rock!

AOT,

            Callie

Scary Revelations

So I had a scary revelation this morning…. I GRADUATE A MONTH FROM TODAY!!

The thoughts that came to mind were as follows:

1.      “I am not old enough to graduate!” There is no way that I have learned everything that I need to graduate.  I still act like a kid most of the time. Do they not know this? Would they really hand this KID a diploma?

2.      “I am not ready!” I don’t know all of my plans yet. I need more time to process this. I feel like everyone else has everything figured out and I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT I’M DOING!

3.      “I should look for graduation shoes online.” A no-brainer.

4.      “I don’t want to leave Stillwater yet!” Going to college in Stillwater was such a blessing. I am going to miss the town and the people. I am going to miss my pledge sisters, LifeChurch, the Beyers, my friends, and my lifegroup.

5.      “____________________” My mind went blank.

And after I had gotten the crazy, hyperventilating, worry-wart Callie out of the way, God was able to speak to me.  It honestly reminded me of 1 Kings 19, when God revealed himself to Elijah:

“Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. ¹² After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper.”

            Anyways, I just felt God telling me to have peace and patience. I, of course, thought God must not know who he is talking to because I am the worst at Peace and horrible with Patience. But, if I claim to be a follower of Jesus, I have already received these fruits in the Spirit (Galatians 5:22).

            So today, I am choosing to have peace with the fact that I am graduating. I am trusting in God’s plan. I have chosen to be patient with whatever outcome he chooses no matter how long and no matter how far away his plan may lead.

“So do not fear, for I am with you;
   do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
   I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10

2 Corinthians 12:9

“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.”-  2 Corinthians 12:9

On Friday, I messed up. Without going into too many details, I lost my cool and composure and lashed out at a student. It was like word vomit. I wanted to take it back as I was saying it. I saw the look of surprise on my student’s face fade into hurt. I would have given anything to take back what I said. The student was in the wrong but my reaction was not appropriate. I immediately apologized and asked for his forgiveness. He said that it was not a big deal that I snapped at him but it was a big deal. I was not showing the love of Christ to this student. In my weakness, I rebuked him in anger and frustration, not in love.  

I went home that day from school bawling. How did I get here? This is not me. I don’t yell at students. What has changed? And then it occurred to me: My walk with Christ has been faltering. I haven’t been making my quiet time a priority. It’s simple really. When I don’t read my Bible first thing, I can see a difference in my behavior. I know this and I am embarrassed that I wasn’t making it a priority.

I now know what I have to do. I can now show this student, and all of them for that matter, that even though I mess up, I can change my behavior. These kids need to see it though. They can see through all the crap we say and know if we are being truthful or not. They need to see my changed behavior in my actions. And since I can’t come out and openly say “Even though we mess up, God still loves us”, I can show this through my actions.

A prayer...

            The young man couldn’t wait to take his inheritance and go. He was ready to make his own decisions and make his own way. Surely he knew better than his father.

            When he was finally free, he squandered all of his money on the pleasures of this world. He had everything he wanted, right? He didn’t even think that there might be a possibility of a famine coming. When it did, it was a huge blow to the young man. He had nothing left. He had made his own plans and his own rules and had ended up with nothing. He even had to share food with the pigs.

            There must be something better than this, the young man thought. I was treated much better at my father’s house. It will be embarrassing to go back and ask for mercy but at least it will be a place to live. I don’t care if I have to work my way back up, it will be a roof over my head. I doubt my father will take me back but at least I can try.

            When the father saw his son returning, he cried and jumped for joy. His son had seen the error of his ways. His son had wanted to make his own decisions but had realized that ultimately, life was better in his father’s house.

“For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.” Luke 15:24

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Father,
           
            God I have been drifting. I have started to get consumed with school and planning for the future. I have stopped pursuing you. I notice it in the way I treat my students. I am quick to get angry or be annoyed. I don't love on them unconditionally like I used to. I can see it in the way I consume my time with reading fictional books rather than your Word. God, I need your presence back in my life. I don't like who I am without you. When I start to rely on my own works and take credit for things that you do, I get dark and moody. I don't smile as much. I have seen so many beautiful works of your hand and I have started to write them off as ordinary. God, nothing you do is ordinary. When I consume my thoughts of the future, I miss what you are doing in my life right now. I trust that you will take care of everything when it needs to be taken care of. But when I worry, I am practically saying I am not sure if you are enough for me. God, please forgive this wandering heart. Thank you for always being there, ready and willing to take me back like the prodigal son that I am. Bring me back to you.

Your daughter,

Callie

Family

“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it”.- Proverbs 22:6

I have found this verse to be true. I believe I am who I am because of the discipline, training, and wisdom given to me by my parents and grandparents.  And I am realizing how much emphasis God puts on the importance of families in his Word.

It was incredible to see my family this weekend.  I knew I would be excited but I had no idea that I would be so excited and chatty that I would lose my voice! I literally lost my voice from talking so much to and about my family! They were able to see where I lived and what life is like on an Air Force base. On Saturday we went into London and I was able to take them around. I was the tour guide! It was really great.

I really enjoyed going to see Jersey Boys on Saturday night.  Long story short…. I booked the Jersey Boys show for the wrong weekend. Seriously. I didn’t realize this until we were all dressed up and on the tube station to get there. I was humiliated. But we went to the theater anyways and were so blessed by the man that worked the ticket counter. He gave us 5 tickets that were better than the tickets I originally purchased at no extra charge. The seats weren’t together but they were so close to the stage. God really took care of us through that whole thing.

Honestly, the weekend was kind of a blur. All I remember was a weekend with my family.  I know we rode the subway a lot. Haha I had a great weekend. But now I miss my family….

Merci, Paris!

We walked up from the underground Metro and heard cars whizzing by and were blinded by bright lights. After we got our bearings, we realized we had finally made it to Paris. The train ride wasn’t too long considering we went BELOW the English Channel but it I was so excited to finally get to Paris that it seemed like forever. When we were above ground, I had to take a moment and pinch myself. I was actually here. In Paris. France. It was incredible.

After standing in shock for about 5 seconds, we started walking to our hotel. We turned down our street and realized that the ARC DE TRIOMPHE was right down the street! How lucky am I?

The next morning we planned on seeing the Louvre, Notre Dame, and the Eiffel Tower. It was a full day of tourist attractions. I was most excited to see the Eiffel Tower when we left the hotel. When we got back to our hotel that evening, I was in love with the LOUVRE! Seriously, in love.

When I took my first steps into the Louvre, I just felt a wave of excitement towards the fact that I was about to see so many famous sculptures and paintings that are older than the United States. It was a weird and surreal experience. We walked in and saw Venus de Milo right off the bat. It was like she was just waiting there for me to finally get there. The light was streaming in on her and she just looked beautiful. It amazes me that God blesses some people with such amazing abilities to sculpt and paint. We continued on towards the Mona Lisa and ran into Winged Victory. She is beautiful despite the fact she has no head. Haha No big deal. We found the Mona Lisa but she was kind of anti-climactic. She is smaller than a poster board but bigger than a sheet of paper. And she has a WHOLE WALL dedicated to her. But across from here, there is a beautiful picture of “The Wedding Feast at Cana” which depicts Christ’s miracle of changing the water to wine. It was breath-taking. We then stumbled into a brand new statuary exhibit. These statues were beautiful. It amazes me that men could carve such a beautiful painting out of a block of marble. I think my favorite painting was “Liberty leading her people” by Delacroix. The painting is MASSIVE. Seriously. I loved it.

Venus De Milo

Winged Victory

Liberty Leading Her People- Delacroix

Could Paris get any better? Yes, yes it can. We were walking in the gardens outside of the Louvre and we noticed that the other people around us had all stopped and were starring at something. It was really strange. When Sarah and I got a better look we saw this beautiful woman, who was probably 6 feet tall in 4 inch heels strutting her stuff down the  walkway with a photographer following her. I thought “WHAT IS THIS? IS SHE A MODEL? WHAT????” In the matter of a few seconds, paparazzi showed up out of nowhere and started taking her picture. They swarmed towards her. And yes, she was doing a shoot of some sort. Only in Paris.

When we found our way to Notre Dame, we stood there, starring at the flying buttresses, mouths agape. When we made it inside, I had to sit down. This building was overwhelming. The stain glass windows were the best I have ever seen. I sat for about 7 minutes just taking it all in. I kept thinking to myself that many years ago, people wanted to have a beautiful dwelling place for their God. And while I know God doesn’t “live” in a church, it was a beautiful place to honor Him. I didn’t find the hunchback though, and trust me, I LOOKED!

When I finally made it to the Eiffel tower, I was pooped. So many beautiful things in one place in 6 hours were a lot to take in. But the Eiffel tower was great. Did I love it as much as the other two places? No. But I did enjoy taking pictures with it. I also bought a crepe there so all in all it was a good day!

The next day we woke up and traveled to Versailles. Okay, this was a great decision on our part. We saw the infamous Hall of Mirrors and the beautiful gardens behind the Palace of Versailles. It would have been prettier if it was in bloom but I loved it all the same. Sarah and I even bravely ventured into the city of Versailles and were able to order from a French menu. Considering I have never taken a French class in my life, I think I did pretty well.

Since Versailles was so great, we stayed a while. This made us kind of late catching the metro to our train station that housed the train that would take us back to London. We made it to the train station about 17 minutes before the train left. But when we were looking at the video screen, we couldn’t figure out what platform our train was on. It just kept saying 1^st floor. We were on the first floor but that could be any of 10 platforms. So we started asking around. Come to find out our train was on the first floor but we had to go through customs first. Crap! We do not have luck with customs (read previous posts). So we literally RAN  there and had to go through security, fill out these forms, and talk to the customs guy, WHO WAS REALLY CHATTY, in about a 7 minute time frame. We bolted towards where they said the train was but when we got to the platform, they closed the gate. WHAT! I AM SUPPOSED TO BE ON THAT TRAIN THAT IS LEAVING! Apparently, we would have made the train but they left 3 minutes early (we shouldn’t have cut it that close). So they didn’t charge us and put us on the next train because it was technically their fault we missed it because they left early. We really lucked out. This did make us miss all of our connecting trains back to the base, but at least we made it back.

I loved this trip but I really loved that it was sunny. I know that seems like a silly thing to be grateful for back in Oklahoma/Texas but I have not seen the sun in England except for maybe 3 days. It is always overcast. And I can tell that it puts me in a sourer mood. Isn’t it crazy how the sun can brighten our day? God really knew what he was doing, didn’t He?

Merci, Paris for such a great vacation!

The BEST yet...

Today is Dr. Seuss' Birthday. He would be 107 years old today. We obviously had to celebrate....

I told all of the students to come in their pajamas (but to obviously use discretion) and bring their favorite book to school today! We played games, ate cake, had popcorn, drank hot chocolate, drew pictures, and READ today! It was so fun. We also went around the room and shared our favorite Dr. Seuss book and why we liked it. I shared Horton Hatches the Egg (obviously the greatest book by him) because it reminds me of my Dad. I am not exactly sure why but I have one memory from forever ago of him reading it to me! A close second would have been "Oh! The places you will go" because it reminds me that education can take you anywhere you want to go (part of the reason I want to teach). I woke up happy today and I left school happy today!

17 beautiful second graders were able to enjoy the wonderful world of reading. I am so grateful to men like Dr. Seuss who have contributed so much to children's education! Look at these cuties:

"The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you'll go." - Dr. Seuss